Conspiracy Cafe

Conspiracy, alternative news, history, intelligence agencies

Blog

Swedish Scientist Makes Major Climate Change Breakthrough

Posted by Conspiracy Cafe on October 31, 2021 at 10:20 AM



The global climate change conference was left stunned after the release of a paper by renowed Swedish climatologist Dr. Nils Flatulens of the Gothenburg Institute. 


Dr. Flatulens has discovered the true reason for rising CO2 levels and the increasing temperatures. After years of research into cow flatulance, Dr. Flatulens determined he was at the wrong end of the problem. He further deduced that he had also maligned the wrong species. 


It appears the answer was before us all along, but we couldn't acknowledge it. The most severe levels of CO2 arise from the exhaled gases of the politicians and activists extolling various forms of rhetoric. 




Had the mouths of the various green activists and their polical lackeys been sealed from the start, the crisis would never have reached the lunatic fringe we see today. 


Imagine a world freed from unnecessary regulations and taxation for a crisis that never should have begun in the first place. It is anticipated that prompt action on behalf of people everywhere will prevent the great reset and stimulate financial growth across the board. It is a time for concerted action Dr. Flatulens said. 


Millions of yards of twine will be required to sew the lips shut of the offending ne'er do wells. A niche employment bonanza is on the horizon. The motto of the new industry will be a stitch in time will save nine. I would anticipate far more realistically. 


We must thank Dr. Flatulens for rising to the occaission at the climate conference. Prince Charles was poleaxed as he and darling siren Greta Thurnburg were silenced to save the planet. Where go one they go all. 



We await Dr. Flatulens' new book The Orifice in Balance. 

Categories: Environment